I think it is important for children to know the story of their parents; how they met, fell in love and became life partners. This is my attempt to tell the story of Jesse and I; how we met, fell in love, and became life partners.
Let me take you back to High school.... Yes, we met in High school. How cool is it that we had young love, went our own ways, and fate brought us back to each other 6 years later. Jesse and I met through our good friends Tony and Mieshka. Mieshka met Tony while I was away on vacation. When I got back she suggested a double date. Lucky for me, Jesse is who Tony brought along. I remember Jesse being quiet, kind of reserved but, as the night progressed he started talking more, and by the end of the night he was the Jesse I know today; a great conversationalist and comedian. The night ended with Jesse making everyone laugh while we watched Dirty Dancing. I remember having those butterflies in your stomach when you really like someone.
That was the beginning of our adventures. We did a lot of fun things together - the four of us. School dances, drives to Park City, eating at Main street pizza and noodle. We played late nights at parks, drove out to the airport and ran around like it was the coolest place on earth (before security went on the rise, of course.) It felt care free, just the way being in High school should. But just like High school our relationship ended.
We both went our own ways; Jesse moved to St. George to start college. And me, well that is a long story but to bypass a lot of life changing lessons, growth, and heartache. I had met Brandon, married, had my sweet first born Taeden, and then divorced.
Broken hearted with Taeden in tow; I eventually reconnected with Jesse. I had run into him before but, it was more of old friends just hanging out. Time had passed and one day Mieshka and I decided on Jamba Juice for lunch and as we were driving by, I looked over and there he was! I had to stop in and say hi. I still remember exactly what I was wearing that day, and with the exchange of phone numbers; I had those butterflies again! The rest is history. We have been together ever since.
Falling in love for me began with Jesse's interactions and affection towards Taeden. From the beginning, Jesse jumped in with both feet and loved him as his own. There nothing more reassuring than watching friendship and love blossom between the two of them. Being a single mom, I had feelings of doubt and sadness that finding someone who would accept me for me, and who would love Taeden the way I did; it felt impossible. Not to mention being the person who comes after a divorce and a break-up; well I know being that person was anything but desirable for Jesse. I don't think he realizes, or maybe he does but he healed my broken heart.
The series of events that followed soon after we started dating were hard. We were in a terrible ATV accident; which was my fault. That accident left me full of injuries; a broken wrist, my front teeth missing, a broken nose, and to top it off I was having seizures. He was there through it all and he loved me just the same. I started physical therapy to help with neck pain that I thought was associated with the accident. After three years with no results, I sought out further investigation from a neurologist.
It was in the middle of a cold winter; the call came on Valentines Day. I had an AVM (arteriovenious malformation) in my brain. They develop before birth, so I had it my entire life, just didn't know it. During a whirlwind of Dr. visits, MRI's, angiograms, and obsessing on the internet; I decided I would go forward with the surgical resectioning. I had a great neurosurgeon; and his lack of details on the after effects the surgery left me confident. He only emphasized that I was young and my chances of a full recovery from surgery were much greater than if I was to have an aneurysm some day. So there we were; two young adults going about life and BOOM - I needed brain surgery. After I was told I had the AVM I would have panic attacks. I would wake up in the middle of the night and could swear my arm and fingers were tingling; sure signs I was having a stroke. It was a complete nightmare. In my mind, the surgery could not come soon enough.
That May, as a family, we took a vacation to Mexico. The first night there at sunset Jesse had his mom and dad put a heart in the sand that said "marry me" written in it. Once I read it and realized what was going on, I turned around and there he was down on one knee in the sand asking me to marry him. I could barely respond; I think Jesse eventually asked me if I was going to answer. It takes an amazing person to put their heart out on the line and ask someone to marry them when there is so much that is unknown in the future.
Our vacation was over as quickly as it started. We returned home to the reality of a brain surgery scheduled for July.
It is said that with heartache and trials, we learn and grow the most. Lord knows I felt like I had lived through enough heartache and concured enough trials in my life, and that this was just another speed bump in the road; but I had no idea what I was about to learn when I woke up with half a head of hair, my face sagging, not being able to commuicate to people the way I was used to, and not being able to move half of my body. I quickly learned that things we think are most important to us, really have little or no meaning at all. You think you really want that new t.v, car, or that you want to be skinny with the newest clothes. Try going one day without the use of an arm; makes simple tasks such as getting dressed, tying shoes, eating, bathing, it makes nearly everything almost impossible. Not being able to walk; it makes it impossible to run in those moments when all you want to do is go home and have things the way they were. With my surgery I temporarily lost the use of my left side. It delayed my thinking, my speaking, pretty much everything was effected. And that is not even touching the damage it did to my self confidence.
I remember having to relearn how to walk; it makes me emotional. It was the strangest feeling knowing I knew how to walk once and physically not being able to. It was scary, and frustrating to say the least. I remember during one of my therapy sessions walking about four steps; it was so mentally exhausting that it drained me physically. It was the strangest thing. I can't help but wonder if this is what it is like for toddlers when they are learning how to walk. My time at the hospital was full of emotions; I know there were times when I felt encouraged, proud, loved, blessed, and other times when my pain far exceeded physical pain. When I felt the deepest despair and questioned God why did he do this to me when I felt like I had gone through enough pain in my life. Little did I know all my feelings of pain, disappointment, and frusteration would be rolled up into an experiance that made me a better person, or at least I like to think it did.
I will never forget the amount of love shown to me by Jesse during that time. He was so encouraging for me; not only in the way of a future wedding, but reaching our dreams together. I worked so hard in rehab so I could go home and make things normal again.
There is a picture that is engraved in my mind. I am at the very end of the hall during a therapy session with Bonnie (she was my favorite therapist) they had me pushing a shopping cart up and down the halls. I looked up and at the opposite end of the hall - there he was, smiling, waiting for me to make it to the other end cheering me on. There are many more of these moments; when I was struggling, wishing I wasn't in that situation and he would show up after a long day of work to go to a therapy session with me, to pushing me harder, to see the progress that I had made. He brought me treats or whatever I asked for from outside of the hospital, and once we got permission; he brought Sally every night for sleepovers at the hospital. He never left me except to go to work. He got up multiple times during the night to help me to the restroom, he helped me shower and had patience when I would complain I was cold. He braided my hair so it was out of my face. But most of all - he never abandon me. The entire staff always told me I was so lucky to have such a good guy by my side; that many people loose their spouse during such difficult situations. But I already knew I was blessed and God only knows how much I love Jesse for that.
We got married exactly one year after Dr Reichman removed my AVM to the day. Talk about a huge milestone. I was long past dressing myself, shaving my own armpits, walking, back to work, and I had hair! The date wasn't intentional, it just worked out that way! I feel like that is the way it has always been for Jesse and I; destiny.
Our wedding did not go perfect. The "highly recommended" flower lady for Utah Valley was late. Consequently, our cake was bare, all the flowers for decoration were not out, and I was out in the trailor waiting for a bouquet before I would walk out; making everyone wait in the crisp, hot summer temps of July! The DJ didn't play any of the songs I spent so much time picking out, he caused a super awkward moment playing a song I didn't ask him to during a pause when the pastor was marrying us. (guess that is why his business is named The Budget DJ !) My hair looked nothing like I had envisioned, actually it looked awful. Sadly, we do not have any good pictures of our wedding, but during the most important part when we both made vows to spend the rest of our physical and spiritual lives together - this busy world stood still, and it was perfect. This day will forever be engraved in my heart.
And that is only the beginning.....
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